Match result – 24 September 2006
Score
Please select according to your mood/demeanor/need to blag/brag
9:8
0:0
129:1
5:4
4:5
Please select reason
i Depressed because you have lost again
ii Depressed because you have lost the ability to Pirouette
iii You are Jose Mourinho and cannot ever admit defeat
iv Father time has finally caught up with your memory
v You are not blessed in the manhood department and need to boast
vi Your name is James Fergusson
vii You are John Davies
viii Since retiring from being a local entrepeneur, you have no get up & go
ix You are a salesman and prone to exaggeration
x You are an autumn tour winner and have not discussed this victory with anyone, least of all those in your household
xi Other – please clarify
Winners : blue bibs
Ged, Andy H, John H, Andy P, Tom
2nd best : yellow bibs
Jamie, Robbie, John D, Mark, Jim
Two finally balanced teams [how long does it take John H to distribute bibs ?] and all set to go when John D is kidnapped by an advanced squad of Navy seals from the Andromeda galaxy and returned without his shorts 5 minutes later – a paradox, possibly the only explanation for which is that his shorts [as we speak] are being experimented on and in 200 millenia, planet earth will be invaded by these alien creatures wearing said shorts as part of their armour – their attack will be swift and terrible and no-one on earth will survive – little will the inhabitants of earth know, but they should be grateful the shorts were stolen prior to the match and not after, as ………. well ………………….. that would be too terrible a thing to contemplate.
With John D returned to us [if a little disturbed] and new shorts secured [on loan from we know not whom but look out next week for a tortured soul wearing a grimace] the game commenced.
Like one of those old fashioned games from the 1920s that James used to play in, this was end to end stuff, with little heed paid to defence; only the laconical Mark displaying the fine qualities of an uber defender [deceptively slow but quick witted which belies the 120 a day habit] keeping the score within reason [refer to option 3 on score selector above].
Highlights included Jim with a miss to rival Roger Davies’ iconic moment, Andy H impersonating a banshee – it certainly set the adrenalin running for the final few minutes and if Edvard Munch hadn’t been there first, surely an inspiration to all budding artists and finely, James defying the odds [as well as medical science if not advice] – does anyone else know of any septuagenarians playing competitive football today ? he is a living example to us all !!
With the teams level and the sand running out in the timer, which team was going to prevail – the ubiquitous ‘next goal wins’ was shouted – time to do or die – fortunately Ged [who looked like he was dead] managed to throw a dummy to Mark, turned, passed an inviting ball to young Tom and the golden goal was delivered with match winning aplomb.
P.S. the dummy, much like the near post shot & goal was of course entirely fortuitous – no credit can be or is claimed by said protagonist.
Pirouette watch
Only a half pirouette to report on this week – confidence may be returning
Order your next weeks match report in advance - be first to read if AH makes it back to full form.
A fee of $200 will secure you a much coveted first edition.
Score
Please select according to your mood/demeanor/need to blag/brag
9:8
0:0
129:1
5:4
4:5
Please select reason
i Depressed because you have lost again
ii Depressed because you have lost the ability to Pirouette
iii You are Jose Mourinho and cannot ever admit defeat
iv Father time has finally caught up with your memory
v You are not blessed in the manhood department and need to boast
vi Your name is James Fergusson
vii You are John Davies
viii Since retiring from being a local entrepeneur, you have no get up & go
ix You are a salesman and prone to exaggeration
x You are an autumn tour winner and have not discussed this victory with anyone, least of all those in your household
xi Other – please clarify
Winners : blue bibs
Ged, Andy H, John H, Andy P, Tom
2nd best : yellow bibs
Jamie, Robbie, John D, Mark, Jim
Two finally balanced teams [how long does it take John H to distribute bibs ?] and all set to go when John D is kidnapped by an advanced squad of Navy seals from the Andromeda galaxy and returned without his shorts 5 minutes later – a paradox, possibly the only explanation for which is that his shorts [as we speak] are being experimented on and in 200 millenia, planet earth will be invaded by these alien creatures wearing said shorts as part of their armour – their attack will be swift and terrible and no-one on earth will survive – little will the inhabitants of earth know, but they should be grateful the shorts were stolen prior to the match and not after, as ………. well ………………….. that would be too terrible a thing to contemplate.
With John D returned to us [if a little disturbed] and new shorts secured [on loan from we know not whom but look out next week for a tortured soul wearing a grimace] the game commenced.
Like one of those old fashioned games from the 1920s that James used to play in, this was end to end stuff, with little heed paid to defence; only the laconical Mark displaying the fine qualities of an uber defender [deceptively slow but quick witted which belies the 120 a day habit] keeping the score within reason [refer to option 3 on score selector above].
Highlights included Jim with a miss to rival Roger Davies’ iconic moment, Andy H impersonating a banshee – it certainly set the adrenalin running for the final few minutes and if Edvard Munch hadn’t been there first, surely an inspiration to all budding artists and finely, James defying the odds [as well as medical science if not advice] – does anyone else know of any septuagenarians playing competitive football today ? he is a living example to us all !!
With the teams level and the sand running out in the timer, which team was going to prevail – the ubiquitous ‘next goal wins’ was shouted – time to do or die – fortunately Ged [who looked like he was dead] managed to throw a dummy to Mark, turned, passed an inviting ball to young Tom and the golden goal was delivered with match winning aplomb.
P.S. the dummy, much like the near post shot & goal was of course entirely fortuitous – no credit can be or is claimed by said protagonist.
Pirouette watch
Only a half pirouette to report on this week – confidence may be returning
Order your next weeks match report in advance - be first to read if AH makes it back to full form.
A fee of $200 will secure you a much coveted first edition.

2 Comments:
Ged,
Can I have some of whatever drugs you are taking!
Yours in admiration.
Pete Doherty
One doesn't have to be on illegal [or legal for that matter] substances to able to a] amuse or b] enter into a little surrealism !!
P.S. leave that young lady alone - you will ruin her career with your dirty antics
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